Still alive!

I'm so poo at updating this aren't I?

Hopefully updating will be slightly easier now as I just got a wireless keyboard and mouse so when I ache I can move it about and still carry on typing.

A few things to update on, I'll try to be brief so this post isn't massive.

I was denied ESA on the grounds that I was too rich and hadn't contributed enough NI.
That estimation included Working Tax Credit which has now ended as SSP has finished so I have to re-apply again but WTC are being slow with my award notice and I have no idea how much I will be getting from Child Tax Credits and as ESA is means tested I can't apply until I know. I've made to calls to WTC to be told it's in the post and has been since the 5th of March. I rang them again tonight and got really snotty. I don't like doing that because as a rule tax credits have always been good and reliable but with no SSP and no ESA and no WTC I'm starting to panic and I NEED this award notice so my housing benefit can be updated and I can apply for council tax benefit.
My DLA form when off on time but I've yet to hear anything, but I didn't send it until Feb 22nd so no surprises there, I'm not expecting to hear from them for another couple of months or more.
My Rheumatolagist appointment finally happened today after I had to keep cancelling because I've been so unwell (also why I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like to).
He's writing to Dr Sam to put me on Amitriptilyne on a low does to help with sleep and fatigue. He said it works very well with the fluoxetine I'm already taking and if I can get a good (ha!) nights sleep that will in turn help my fatigue, mood and energy levels. He said they can be used as an anti-depressant which I knew about as my mum has been on them for years but in my case they will be used purely for my fatigue and pain, he stressed they aren't sleeping tablets.
The appointment itself was an ordeal, the Rheumatology department was all the way at the back of the hospital and I had to keep stopping to rest and I was in agony and utterly exhausted.
As per usual when I start explaining my symptoms the tears came flowing and I got myself in a right state out of frustration, shame and I was absolutely drained from the walk to the department, it's the furthest I've walked for months.
He's also recommending a course of physiotherapy and the hospital will be writing to me with an appointment in due course. I'm really worried about physiotherapy, I'm worried it's going to make me worse but time will tell on that.

Another worry has appeared on my ever expanding plate. My daughter has been diagnosed with a heart murmur. We don't know why yet, anaemia was a possible cause as she has had it before but her bloods came back normal so she has an appointment with the paediatric cardiologist next week. Charlotte is having episodes of palpitations where her heart suddenly starts beating really fast and hard which makes her go all light headed and dizzy so it's a big concern. She was 'urgently' referred to the hospital, I'm not sure 3 weeks is urgent, but it was the earliest they had, next week can't come soon enough, she and I are both worried about it.

Health wise I'm not so good. Even with Nathan with me I'm staying in because of the sheer effort to get dressed and get out. My pain managment is still not great. I was given codeine to try instead of the tramadol and told I could take the tramadol with it if needed which I've had to do quite a lot and boy oh boy it makes me quite trippy and spaced out.

In other life stuff, on a personal level things are fantastic, I honestly think I would be a gibbering wreck without Nathan, he has been absolutely AMAZING. I crashed only 2 months after meeting him and most blokes would have ran a mile but he is so supportive and comforting and my rock. We're planning on moving in together this year!